when i think of my upcoming (as in 7 months away) delivery, i get this funny, freaky thing in the pit of my stomach. having and caring for one child is manageable, but taking care of two, still growing-up kids? ah, nerve-wracking.
i believe motherhood, or parenthood for that matter, is not only making sure your kid has diapers and milk and vitamins. it’s not only taking him to the pediatrician for his monthly immunization. it’s not only waking up in the wee hours of the morning to feed him. it’s not only being proud of him because he can walk or talk at an early age. it’s not only saving for his future so he can go to a prestigious university.
parenthood entails so much more. it needs patience, care, undivided attention and most of all love and discipline. when you say you want to give the best of everything to your child, you shouldn’t only think of the best clothes, the best brand of milk. it should be first and foremost, the best of your care and love so they grow to be civilized and decent citizens. one should have the right amount of control and strictness when it comes to disciplining children because too much freedom might lead them somewhere except the right path, while too much chastisement might make them feel inferior and good for nothing. you would want to give them your full attention but not too much too for them to feel always being watched upon. parenthood is quite a tricky task, eh?
when i think how my own mother managed to bring us three girls up single-handedly since my father’s away most of the time, i get overwhelmed because i am not sure if i can do what she has done, not only for us kids, but for the whole family. i want to be a good, no, the best mother for raf and our soon-to-be son or daughter, but i don’t know where to start. i would like to think i am doing a good job because our little boy, although throws tantrums as often as he throws his cars out the window, is such a sweet and smart 2-year old that he just couldn’t be an accident.
i will still be 25 when i would give birth to our second child. and what makes everything so surreal and okay, weird, is that i think i, myself, and the husband also, still has a lot of growing up to do that i find it hard to imagine us rearing and guiding two tots. but you know, i have long accepted the fact that the big boss up there has a sense of humor and that everything happens for a purpose so what’s a girl to do but open her arms and receive all the things heaven pours out to her?
hay. just the thoughts of a sleepy, pregnant woman.