My Baby Diaries

Life. At Its Finest.

It Is Coming May 25, 2008

Filed under: just thoughts — Alveel Kaith @ 6:12 am

the thing about delivering a baby for the second time is that you already know what you’re gonna go through, especially in my case when i’d have another C-section.  with only four days to go before i’d have my tummy sliced again, i am torturing myself with horrid thoughts of enema, anesthesia and of course, the post-birth pain.

although it would be a great relief to finally release the little one inside me and feel light (and almost normal) again, i can’t help but be scared.  and it’s weird to be scared.  hehehe.  plus, the fact that i have to leave the little boy behind because he can’t stay in the hospital adds to my anxiety.  you see, i haven’t been away from him ever since.  well, since he moved in with us, that is.  i would have wanted him to be around but i know too that the hospital isn’t really a good place for him to stay in for four days.

so yeah, pretty soon the journey would end.  and a new life would have to begin for me, with my little angel.  ah, wish me luck.

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Just Waiting May 6, 2008

Filed under: just thoughts,stories — Alveel Kaith @ 6:52 am

finally, we have decided on a date.  it would either be may 28 or 30 if i’d really go for the CS operation.  but in case the baby wants her freedom earlier than those dates, i might try to do it the normal, usual way.  if the doctor would allow it.  if my body would allow it.

i will have to see my new OB on saturday, as soon as we arrive in negros.  then i am guessing she’d advise me to have a pelvimetry, or the pelvic bone xray to check on my pelvic bone, if it’s big enough to accommodate my baby.

i have grown accustomed to the discomfort and inconvenience.  i just tell myself it’s gonna be a few more weeks.  my only consolation for now is that while the baby is still safely tucked inside my tummy, i only have one wailing child to attend to, raf.  hahaha.  i know it’s gonna be a circus once there’ll be two of them asking for attention already.  i am silently hoping that the husband won’t start on a new job very soon so he can take care of the eldest while i bond with the newborn.

i told him that after this one, i wouldn’t entertain thoughts of having a third child.  i mean, of course, kids are blessing but i am also thinking of our stability and the future.  we just can’t say, bahala na, on this matter.  i want to give my children the best of what we can offer, and not to sacrifice their education and other needs, just because we can’t afford it.  and besides, i’ve been traumatized by this pregnancy that i am not sure i’d survive the next one.  hahaha.

so now we are waiting, waiting, waiting.

 

Mommy Thoughts on a Thursday April 24, 2008

Filed under: just thoughts — Alveel Kaith @ 8:11 am

i can’t, can’t wait for this ballooning tummy to burst already.  although we haven’t really decided on a date yet as to when i’d have the C-section, i’m still glad that we have scheduled our trip already.  it just means that i am almost there, i am nearing my long-awaited vacation.  which isn’t really a vacation, vacation, because i know that i am in for several weeks of more discomfort and anxiety.  but just the fact that i will be finally home, is enough to make me happy.

the supergirls have thrown a mini-baby shower for me, complete with diaper cake, flowers and dresses for the little one last night.  i was surprised in the real sense of the word because what i thought was an advance birthday celebration for T, turned out to be a baby shower for me too.  hahaha.  these girls do really know how make one feel loved and cared for.

now i can say that all pregnant women should have the following:  a willing-to-do-anything husband, a job that would help her forget unpleasant feelings and inconveniences for at least nine hours, a boss from heaven, and a bunch of fiercely loyal and fun friends to make everything all right.

ah, waiting is agony.  but i guess, this angel is worth all the wait and pain in this world.

 

Mommy Woes April 17, 2008

Filed under: mommy woes,stories — Alveel Kaith @ 8:28 am

i have come to the point of my pregnancy where i everything i do is becoming a burden, a chore.  i can’t sit down without feeling that sharp pang of pain on my upper tummy, and standing up makes my legs and feet cringe with my upper body’s weight.  and i don’t even want to talk about lying down!  it takes me an hour to find a position comfortable enough for me and my tummy before i can asleep every night!

sometimes i fight the urge to cry here in the office, especially when the pain gets unbearable i don’t know whether to stand up or sit down or head to the clinic to lie down.  everyday is a struggle and God knows how many times i have bit my tongue to stop myself from complaining.

oh, can may come already?  i want to go home!

 

Finally, It Is A SHE April 14, 2008

Filed under: baby development,stories — Alveel Kaith @ 1:27 am

yes, we are having a girl! 🙂  the ultrasound last saturday said so.

the husband can’t seem to decide whether to be happy or scared.  hahaha.  he asked the little boy what they would do with a little girl.

finally, there would be two of us to clean up after the boys’ mess.  it’s two vs two.  we are now even.  hahaha.

 

Guess Who’s Scared of the Moving Something Inside My Tummy? April 8, 2008

Filed under: baby development,mommy woes — Alveel Kaith @ 10:07 am

it’s the big kuya himself! hahaha.  yes, he wants to rub and soothe and kiss my tummy but the moment the little one wriggles and squirms and kicks, raf immediately tells me to cover my tummy because he is scared! hahaha.

now, i don’t know if that says something but i hope when the baby comes out, he wouldn’t be that hesitant to play with it but not as confident to try to carry it.  the big boy could be gutsy.  i can’t wait to see the two of them together.

at roughly 32 weeks, i am feeling all the pain and discomfort an expecting mother feels on her third trimester.  i have almost forgotten how hard it is to sleep at night and how many tosses and turns i have to do so i can achieve that perfect position. i can’t wait for this baby boy or girl (because yes, i haven’t done the 2nd ultrasound yet.  the doctor says we can do that on my 36th week) to come out because frankly, being pregnant is becoming such a chore.  hahaha.

how i would love to start my vacation already.  konting tiis na lang. 🙂

 

Tired. Very Tired. March 28, 2008

Filed under: baby development,mommy woes — Alveel Kaith @ 5:48 am

my doctor says i should steer clear of stress and pressure these days.  i should forget taking long walks for the meantime and i have this vision of me, just being strapped into either my bed or chair for the next weeks.

my baby’s already on the lower “level” of my uterus and any unnecessary strenuous activity might push it down all the more.  and i am still on my 32nd week.  i’ve been feeling really tired lately, and my thighs almost always feel like boulders – heavy and painful to move.

now if worse comes to worst, i have decided to head home as early as first week of may.  i need the reliever to come in 3rd week of april.  and that is what, two weeks from now?  argh.  days whiz you by just when you want it to slow down.  i am afraid i have to cancel my dumaguete trip because i know, my numerous travels as early as last year have contributed to my physical stress.

what i am really praying for now is for the baby to wait until at least last week of may to come out.  i guess we have to have a pep talk. 😉